SHOW UP AND SHINE!

It's really okay to be happy...really. Better than okay, actually...it's a game changer! Being afraid to SHOW UP AND SHINE is like the sun being afraid to come up. It's our most authentic NATURE to be joyful and free...to celebrate LIFE...and (contrary to popular belief), it doesn't make others who are less content feel better when we hide our happiness. JOY is contagious! Peace of mind and Soul is calming. Being in love is INSPIRING! It opens hearts to hope and possibilities, which is as loving and needed as our compassion and empathy for the pain in this world. Where did we get the idea that being successful, happy, or completely content could possibly invalidate ANYONE? Quite an arrogant concept, if you think about it. Truth is, if we've moved through, moved on, healed, grown, and done what it takes to create the life we choose, others can too! So, rather than dummy-down your joy, why not CELEBRATE the goodness of your blessings and be the spark that ignites an outbreak of BLISS!  

How Much Is (not) Enough?

When was the last time you heard yourself say, “I don’t have time to ______” or “I can’t afford to ______”? If you’re like most of us, it’s probably been within the last 24 hours or even the last 24 minutes! “I don’t have enough _______” is THE most common statement I hear when working with my clients, regardless of what they’re attempting to achieve. Be it professional or personal, financial, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional or relational, it almost always boils down to the belief that they aren’t, or don’t have, enough of something.

For instance, they may not feel they have enough knowledge, experience, time, ability, money, influence, or value. Or, perhaps they don’t believe they have enough confidence, support, determination, will power, energy, motivation, faith, or love. Regardless of the context, LACK is the undermining (unconscious) common belief. Granted, there truly are situations in our life that we may not be able to amend or change at present, and we may not have everything we need on hand (or mind), however, most any situation can be remedied with a shift in perspective and a little ingenuity.

Try this on! Next time you hear yourself saying, "I don't have time to ____ " or  "I don't have enough money for ____",  stop and ask yourself, "Hey Self...is that really true? Do I really not have enough time or money? Could I/would I create the time or money if it were important enough to me? Or is more true that I’m unsure, scared, not interested or, it simply isn’t important enough to me to spend my money or time on it? If you're willing to be completely honest, you’ll find some aspect of the latter is almost always true.

Are you arguing with me in your head right now, or doing the “yeah but” dance? Good for you! You must be pretty close. If you still feel like it’s truly a matter of lacking money or time, test it by asking yourself, "Okay, Self...so how much money did I spend at Starbucks, happy hour, or eating out this week? And tell me again how much I “saved” at that great sale this weekend? Or, “How much time was I on Facebook today, or browsing Match.com for my soulmate?” Not that any of these choices are harmful in and of themselves, but when we’re claiming we don’t have the time or money for the things we need, want, owe, or are responsible for, asking these kinds of questions can serve as our reality checks.

The reality is, we'll always, always, always find the means to do those things we want to do, (especially our habits and compulsions) but we'll often see only LACK if we're apprehensive, not interested, not ready, not sure how, not confident, or not comfortable saying "no". It’s like a “get out of jail” free card…only not. It actually keeps us trapped in the lack mentality, holds us hostage in the victim paradigm, zaps our energy and interferes with our motivation to achieve our desired goals. Simply put, like attracts like. Lack attracts lack. If you’re claiming it in ANY area, you’re attracting it in ALL.

So, next time you hear yourself saying you don’t have enough of ANYTHING, see if you can get more honest and shift the "I don't have" language to "I'm not willing"…"I don't choose to"…or simply, "No, thank you” and begin to align your words with what you DO want, and you'll not only stop a cycle of lack, but you’ll empower yourself (and others) with integrity and positive energy, and begin to attract powerful results to you!

Now…GO GET ‘EM, Tiger! 

Unlocking the DIVINE: The Key to Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams!

In my relationship work with couples, as well as my personal experience of relationship, I’ve learned that the key to a healthy, thriving, passionate partnership is HONOR…honor of Self, honor of Partner, and honor of Relationship…in that order. This may seem backward to some, especially those of us who’ve been conditioned by codependency (which is the majority, by the way), but it’s actually quite the contrary. We cannot truly honor others if we’re not aware or willing to honor ourSelf, as this is the core of our integrity…our Truth.  If we are not in alignment with our essential Truth, we are not fully present and our relationships will not fully benefit from the love we have to share. It is imperative that we learn to dig deep to discover what our essential “Soul” Truth IS in order to fully embrace and honor it, in all things. This is the core of our integrity…our character…as human beings.

Let me be clear that honoring one’s Self is not the same as thinking ONLY of one’s Self, which is quite the opposite of what I hope to impart in this writing. If loving another is aligned with our Truth, then behaving in UN-loving ways or making choices that would be dishonoring or hurtful to ourselves, our partner, or our relationship, would be equally un-loving and un-true to ourSelf. This is why honoring Self comes first, because it encompasses our love for all others.

Honoring Partner is second, not because our partner is less important, but because honor works from the inside out. When we have chosen to be in partnership, we have chosen to be on a team and must be mindful of how our personal choices affect our teammate. When we’re on any kind of team, what we bring to the team matters. It can be beneficial or detrimental, and it’s up to each person ON the team to do their best, in order to achieve success as a whole. The same is true in partnership. We must be willing and mindful to consider if our choices, actions, communication, and over-all health and well being are affecting our “team” in a negative or positive way. Yes, we can be healthy, make good choices, and learn to communicate with respect, validation, and honesty without losing ourselves, which is honoring of Self and partner, and keeps the morale of the “team” healthy, balanced and well.

And this brings us to the third principle, which is “honor the Relationship”. If we think of a relationship as an entity unto itself, we can see that it takes on a life of its own, much like a child does. For the sake of analogy, a child is born of two people who come together “in love” and create a third being, and that’s exactly how we create partnerships! Consider for a moment how you might care for a child. You would hopefully nurture and feed it, keep it warm, safe, and healthy, and make sure it was growing and learning. You would not likely neglect or abandon it, ignore it, or abuse it, would you? Now, consider whether you are giving your relationship all those same considerations, and if not, perhaps it needs your attention. This one tool will take conflict out of the personal realm and into the higher good of the partnership in an instant!

Flip it...Flip it GOOD!

Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we always have a choice. That simple truth changes everything! ~ Kate Bares-Johnson

Looking at the world around us, it’s a bit challenging to accept that we’re at choice about much of anything these days, however, choosing to shift our perception about that is precisely what proves it to be true! Regardless of our circumstances, we absolutely have the free will to determine how we interpret each moment, and with a little guidance and practice, we can literally change our entire view. For instance, consider this: Is life happening TO you or FOR you? Not sure? Well then, which one feels better?

Yes, it really is okay to simply pick a perspective that brings you peace, joy, and relief, and it really IS that easy. The reality is, you’ve been choosing your entire life…you just didn’t know all your options! Even when our choices seem slim, our first and most empowering choice is always our perspective. Therefore, if what you’re experiencing doesn’t suit you…just FLIP IT! Change the way you look at it and you’ll not only change how you feel, but you can stop whole paradigms in their tracks. You will bust up old beliefs, release old behaviors, and shift the energy on the planet…if you choose to.

Here are a few easy FLIPS to start with, that will hopefully spark new thoughts for you:

You can choose to see an Obstacle as an Opportunity, a Problem as a Possibility or a Dilemma as nothing more than a Decision. What if Weird is Wonderful, being Alone is when you come Alive, and Conflict creates Closeness? Imagine the possibilities if Lack is Luxury and Grief is Glorious! How can this be?!

This can “be” because it’s just a choice. Not a choice intended to invalidate our pain and grief, but one that will help us USE our life experiences to grow, heal, change and transform, which is what (I choose to believe) they are intended to do. Choosing a different perspective doesn’t change the experience, it only changes what you do with it.

So, next time you feel life rolling over you, FLIP IT and see where you land! Look for the gift, the lesson, and the purpose and remember…life is happening FOR you, not TO you. ALL things come to you for you highest good!

Are You Ready to LET GO and LIVE?

Get Ready to LET GO and LIVE!

Are you tired of working too hard and playing too small? Do your relationships fill you with JOY or just fill a void? Does your work empower or exhaust you?  Do you need to make changes but don’t know where to start? You’re not alone! Many of us hold onto unhealthy habits, relationships, careers and emotions simply because we don’t know how to let go.

The first step in letting go is the step toward REALITY. If you were to observe the object of your attachment, love, anger, or even unforgiveness without the filter of "What does this mean about me?" what would you see? Try it! Strip it down past your ego until you see it for what it REALLY is, bare bones. Do you still want it, need it, judge it, or feel hurt by it? Keep stripping until it has no meaning about you...until you feel neutral, not resigned. When you can finally see REALITY with neutrality, you will be free to let go.

Also, when our (unconscious) intentions hover on the level of approval and acceptance (what it means about "me") and we let that hinder our progress (choices/actions), we actually hold others at that level with us, keeping everyone involved stuck. When we're willing to see ourselves and others in the bigger picture, we recognize not only the significance of our Truth, but the necessity of honoring it. Honoring and choosing in alignment with our Truth is not always the most popular choice among friends and loved ones who have other expectations and desires for us. However, when we have the courage to disappoint another to be True to ourselves, we create a ripple of Truth that would not otherwise be possible...for us OR for them. Only good can come from Truth and it will never guide you incorrectly, although it may not be the direction you (or someone else) was hoping. Just keep digging and when you find it, you’ll also find the courage to honor it.

And last, it’s often said that nature abhors a vacuum! When we're willing to dig in, excavate, and LET GO of that which no longer serves us, we create a space for the Universe to fill. When we learn to release the old (unconscious) paradigms and beliefs and hold new, (conscious) intentions and actions, aligned with our highest and Truest values, the Universe will effortlessly fill the space with our heart's desires!

This is YOUR life…are you ready to LET GO and LIVE it? 

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Ah, February…the month of LOVE! Valentine’s Day is a day we celebrate love and romance, although for some, it’s anything but a celebration. For those who are lonely, sad, or empty…even those in relationship…it can be excruciating. You don’t see cards about that, or people celebrating their “aloneness”, because we tend to think of being alone as being lonely and unloved. But what if it’s not? Not that it doesn’t feel that way at times, but what if our relationship with Self is the most Divine, intimate relationship of all? What if this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re in partnership or not, you decided to be your own Valentine?!

Oh, you can keep the one you have, too, but this is about loving yourSelf like none other can. If you were loving yourSelf the way you long to be loved, how would you express it? What if you spend as much time finding that “just right” card for yourSelf as you would for someone else? Buy it, sign it with love, stamp it and send it to yourSelf. You’ll be surprised how you feel when you open it! Spend some time writing down the things you love and admire about yourSelf, including gratitude for all the ways in which you’ve been there (for YOU) no matter what. Give yourSelf a gift, whether bought or created, that will nurture and nourish your Soul and indulge your senses. Give as much thought to what would make you happy as you’d like someone else to and then, DO that thing. And then do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next. 

This Valentine's Day, practice loving yourSelf the way you want to be loved and get ready for the best relationship of your life! It will take commitment. It will take good communication. It will take trust, and faith, and surrender, but it will come. Yes, it feels good when others love us, but it’s not until we love ourSelf…truly, madly, deeply…that we know true love.

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Welcome-to-2012---Let-s-Get-This-Party-Started--.html?soid=1103792140233&aid=GVXkJKzngHE

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Welcome-to-2012---Let-s-Get-This-Party-Started--.html?soid=1103792140233&aid=GVXkJKzngHE

Happy New LIFE!

“It is time to speak your Truth. Create your community, be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its own destination. We must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river; keep our eyes open and our heads above water. Now, see who is in there with you and celebrate! ~Message from a Hopi elder

Yes…it’s time. We’re in the middle of the river and it’s time to celebrate! This is a brand new year, and today is a brand new day, and with it comes brand new choices. Everything that happened in 2011, or the year before, or yesterday, is complete. You’re here. You have arrived in NOW. Your stories, thoughts, feelings, ideas, and experiences of the past are over. Unpack your suitcase. You get a new day today…and tomorrow, and the next day…and you get to create it as you go. Pack light…there’s a lot in store for you!

2011 was, for many, an extraordinary year of change and shift. Some of us experienced intense and deep conflict and struggles, as the old fell away to make room for the new. Some fought to hold onto what we believed we “needed”, only to learn to let go and have more than we ever imagined! Yes, this is and has been a profound and healing time of clearing and excavating, cleansing and preparing for what’s to come…a new time in our lives and a new way of being alive!

We are blessed with immeasurable energy and support, both seen and unseen, to help us make this collective leap in consciousness and we are manifesting far more rapidly than we realize. So this year, rather than make the usual New YEAR resolutions in an attempt to avoid what we don’t want (again this year), let’s make New LIFE resolutions and use this Divine energy to create what we DO want!

Go ahead…let your Soul shine! If you knew you could create anything your heart could dream, what would your New LIFE resolutions be?

I wish you all a Happy New Life filled with blessings, joy and all things shiny. I look forward to sharing the shift with you! 

Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go!

I heard the song “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…” yesterday, but in my head, I was singing, “Let it go, let it go, let it go...” and realized I was actually feeling GOOD about letting go! This isn’t always the case, obviously. In fact, it’s seldom the case, but it can be…if we let it.

This has been a tremendous year of clearing and letting go for me, whether I liked it or not, and there were plenty of times that I did not. There were literal waves of upheaval, bringing with it everything from mechanical breakdowns and repairs, technological challenges and upgrades, leaps of faith in my work, which required financial risks and adjustments…to more interpersonal challenges, including health concerns, relational maladies, and communication breakdowns (and repairs), until it was excruciatingly undeniable that there was something bigger happening here. If it didn’t fit, function, or feel good anymore (literally and figuratively) it was being tagged for removal. IEEEEEHHH…too much too fast! Or was it?

Not surprisingly, every single item or issue that was laid on my path brought some aspect of a remaining false belief, paradigm, behavior, or block I was unaware of, giving me the opportunity to clear it and let it go. I resisted at first, but they were coming so fast that I was exhausting myself trying to keep up (in my head, in my control, in my agenda). At one point, I received the clear message to “Take it to the A.L.T.A.R” (Ask. Listen. Trust. Act. Repeat.), and I did. I learned and practiced sitting still and letting it unfold, in me and around me, one breath and one step at a time. Uggggh. Not easy, but worth it. Ultimately, the healing that alone brought to me was extraordinary.

I made the conscious choice to stop pushing my own agenda and to look honestly at what I believed ANYTHING meant about me, to me, or for me…and really, truly allowed something greater to be revealed to me. It’s a very unsettling experience to imagine this, but to actually do it is the most freeing and exquisitely peaceful space to inhabit. It literally changed my life.

In reality, if I’d been asked to make a list of the things in need of repair or release in 2011, there would have been quite a bit left off my list, but the Universe has a way of helping us out when we’ve clearly asked for the HIGHEST good to be revealed…and have strapped ourselves in for the ride! Whew! I don’t know if it’s over, but I’ve found that it’s not so bad if I open my eyes and reach for the sky, instead of keeping a death-grip on the safety bar. I’ve even found myself belting out a big “WEEEEEEEEEEEE” a few times. Now THAT’S progress!

My wish for you this holiday and the coming year is that you might find yourSelf singing “Let it go, let it go, let it go!", leaving behind in 2011 all that no longer serves you...stepping into 2012, eyes open, hands in the air, enjoying the ride of your life!

Living a Delicious Life!

Have you ever noticed that we humans tend to put our emotional/spiritual wellness and healing on the back-burner of life? We’ll just let it simmer unattended, over a low heat, while we’re busy with other distractions—work, money, relationships, kids, careers—until it eventually boils over, runs dry, and burns the bottom out of our pot! For some people, the house would have to catch fire before they’d slow down long enough to pay attention. It’s not that relationships, careers, and families aren’t important, but if we’re not taking care of our Soul needs, it’s difficult to be present in any area of our life. 

Physical pain gets our attention quickly and we’re typically pretty prompt to do something about it. Yet, when our emotional/spiritual health is in trouble, we don’t perceive it as life threatening so we put it off, make excuses, or worse…find unhealthy ways to cope.

But it IS life threatening. Not living true to ourselves is the most painful, debilitating disease there is, and it affects every area of our life, including our physical health. Many people don’t even realize they’re in need of healing, although they’re suffering in pain—empty, discontented, restless, angry, afraid, lonely, grieving, discouraged, or even depressed—but continue to stir the pot of their own negative beliefs and behaviors, expecting it to somehow taste better over time. Even when offered a new, delicious recipe for life, some will continue to put in the same old ingredients, committed to being right about their own recipe rather than testing a new one. Or they convince themselves they don’t have the time, money, or ability to change and resign themselves to suffering with “what is”. If this sounds familiar, what are YOU waiting for?

There will never be a better time, more money, or more REASON to change your life than RIGHT NOW! And it’s so much easier than you might think. In fact, you already have all the ingredients you need to live a healthy, thriving life and may only need a new perspective and healthy support to learn new ways to use it…new ways to BE WHO YOU TRULY ARE. If you don’t know where to start, start with admitting you don’t know where to start…and start there!

Living an authentic life is living and loving the way you’re made…and it’s what makes LIFE delicious!