Free at Last, Free at Last!

I've been experiencing some very deep and personal revelations this week, not the least of which is how uber-responsible I feel for just about EVERYTHING! My "smart brain" is quite aware of where the lines are and I hold them pretty well on a conscious level, but I've come to realize that on a very deep and integral level of my psyche, if something goes wrong or someone's disappointed, I believe it's MY fault. If expectations are not met, communication isn't clear, or conflict or disruption occurs...I'm responsible. If the energy is out of balance, I've tipped it. If someone doesn't have enough money, or love, or time, or Self worth...it's my job to make sure they get it. If someone doesn't like or respect or appreciate me, it's because I'm not likable, respectable, or valuable, i.e...I'm responsible for their opinion of me. 

OMG...how very arrogant of me! 

Is it possible that I'm just now waking up to the reality that other people's opinions, judgments, dramas, and even their realities are not about ME???? heehee That just makes me giggle. Not only is it possible, but it's about damn time! I've been draggin' around that bloody stump for lifetimes. Free at last, free at last! 

Now on to the task of integration. Yep, it will take concerted, intentional, uber-responsibility for MYSELF to shift that maddening screech of Self-repudiation into one of Self-love and gentle Self-acceptance, especially in the face of adversity, confusion, or conflict...seen and unseen...spoken and unspoken. It will require that I shift that harsh, critical knee-jerk reaction within myself into one of fervent curiosity and grace for the human that I am...that we all are, and ultimately to let go of those who do not serve me, or feel served by me, with love and acceptance for the lessons learned. Ahhh, yes! That's where I'm going. This awakening business takes work, but as uber-responsible and committed as I am, it shouldn't take long to get there. :) 

Care to carpool? We can share the ride if you can pitch in for gas (did I say that out loud?!)...or, I'll just see you on the other side!