Life in the Holy Fire

I knew coming into this year that it would be BIG, but I had no idea HOW big! Learning and living smack in the center of my being through every single bit of it has been the most Divine experience. Be it joyful or painful,

the blessings have shifted, shaped, and completely transformed most every aspect of my life! More on that later, but here are just a few of the gifts that came through my experiences this year:

On Forgiveness:

"Forgiveness is more of a quiet, private journey one takes...deep down, where the pain and hurt wreck us the most. It's not on the outside, spoken with the pretense of proving we're bigger or more evolved, or more kind or loving; it's not a competition, but a personal walk to the core of our being where we forgive ourSelf for forgetting who we are, even for a moment. To forgive Self is to forgive all humanity at once, for forgetting we are the same." ~ April 2013

"The path to forgiveness is the same path of grief... they both lead to acceptance. First there is denial (shock), then anger (protection), then bargaining (attempting to make sense of the violation/loss), then deep sadness (surrendering to the pain of the violation/loss) and finally, acceptance (awakening in the reality of NOW). We may bounce around them all, until we're finally ready and able to accept the reality of a situation or a person. Acceptance is not resignation, but rather, REALization. We awaken to the reality of what IS and are now empowered to choose how we engage, with others or with life, accordingly. Acceptance is NEUTRAL. We finally just "get" that things are what they are, and people do what they do, and gently, our attachment/resistance morphs into peace. Be it thru grief or forgiveness, or both...acceptance frees us to let go and live again"

~ November 2013

 

On Personal Responsibility:

"Some people are far more committed to being right about what's wrong than to what they claim they WANT. Relationships are an energy exchange...a give and receive...a two-way experience. You're not responsible for how others feel, but you ARE responsible for the energy you bring to the table and the mess you (help) make with it. "Scout rule: Leave things better than you found them!" If you're IN a conflict, you have a part. Period. Find it, clean it up, and carry on!"

~ October 2013

 

"Ahhh, life offers up so many opportunities to BE who I am...right here, right now. Not that person I envision I am or that I'm "growing" into, but who I ALREADY am, on the inside. That woman who lives in my mind's eye, moving through life with grace and strength, compassion and unshakable "knowing"; who is not removed from herSelf by the harshness of life or the disapproval of others, but steadfast in her Truth. She is undeniably REAL and unflinchingly unapologetic. She protects and nurtures, be it a sword or a soft place to land...she knows. Tender in heart, strong in vulnerability, deep in wisdom, and fierce in love, she is ever present in the fire of life. YES! That Holy fire of life, burning away the veils until all that remains is who I ALREADY am...right here, right now."

~ September 2013

 

On trust and gratitude:

"Think with your own mind; feel with your own heart; listen to your own knowing. What the ego hides from the eyes, the Soul already knows. Trust that."

~ August 2013

 

"I do love how Spirit works thru us, usually in ways we least expect. As we listened to the rain fall the night before the wedding and watched it come and go the day of, we were tempted to stress about it, (ok, mostly me), but more than that, we both felt a sense of serenity and "rightness" about it all, even though our outdoor picnic /reception was a wash...literally. We just knew we were in good hands, and it even felt strangely "baptismal", as if the rain was washing away all that had been before THAT very day, making us new, and readying us to begin our life together in NOW. (Which explains why we got so much of it!) There were even a couple of potentially painful situations that were beyond our control the week of, (unrelated to the wedding), yet thru it all, we kept being brought back to the awareness of how Divinely TRUE that really is...that it is ALL beyond our control. We made a choice then, to trust God (even more!) to guide us on our way, standing firmly and freely in the light we create TOGETHER, and let it shine, shine, SHINE! Wherever it takes us, stepping into our marriage surrendered in the absolute peace and knowing that we are in the best hands of all, made it a truly Heavenly day!" ~ October 2013 

My hope for you this holiday and beyond, is that you are at peace in the knowing that each moment has been full with purpose and more potent than you can hold in your own two hands; that you will trust Spirit to guide you and to unfold you in the magnificence you ARE...right here, right now. I look forward to another year with you, on this incredible journey we share. Many blessings for a joyful, wondrous holiday, dear friends. All my love! 

Can You Dig It?

I've learned a few things on my way to this age...some came easy, some the hard way...and I wouldn't trade not one experience, one heartache, or one moment of bliss for anything in the world! I'm an experiential learner, as well as a hard-headed-do-it-mySelfer, so digging in the dirt comes natural, albeit, a bit messy. I've done many, many things in my life the exact wrong way, so I could apparently discover the RIGHT way...for me. It's not always been pretty, and for a good bit of my life I felt awful, even guilty for screwing up or making mistakes, because I thought I should "know better". What I finally understand is, I was on my way to not only "knowing better", but knowing ME all the time!

Through all the excavating, it occurred to me along the way that the way I see myself and my world is my choice, and that the only evidence of anything being true or false lives in my own perspective, which is completely dependent on how I choose to translate the evidence I find. So, I decided to change my perspective! Yep. I just decided...just like that. I made the choice to perceive life as more of an adventure than a test; to stop questioning why things are happening TO me and consider how they are happening FOR Me, and viola! Everything changed.

I stopped feeling responsible for things that weren't mine. I stop apologizing for being human. I stopped wasting time regretting my choices and looked for the gifts instead. I learned how to leave others' opinions and judgments to them. I risked being disliked, misunderstood, and ridiculed to honor mySelf and live according to my own values. I learned to let go, get out of my own way, and listen to higher guidance, first. I learned that forgiveness from others is not required, but forgiveness for Self is as vital as air. I stopped wondering what "happy, joyful and free" felt like and started LIVING it! And the digging continues...

Today, I can honestly say that when I make choices that are not in alignment with my highest good, I simply choose again! I shake off the humanness of shame and regret, make amends if needed, get up, and dig some more, because that's where the goodies are...down deep in the Soul, where God hangs out. Yes, every single experience of life has brought me home to mySelf, and there's just no sweeter place to live. 

Can YOU dig it?

Uncorked!

I love my work in this world. I love witnessing the unfolding and awakening of a Soul...the transformation that remembering ignites. I live to see the light come back in the eyes, filling from that deep, down place where Self-worth has been uncorked!

It makes my feet hit the floor in a happy dance when someone wants to dive deep. Not to be pushed from the cliff, but to hold hands and jump! I’ve been at that ledge a gazillion times myself, and each time is always just as scary as the first. Right up until the moment my feet leave the edge, and I’m free-falling into me…and all that I’ve forgotten I Am.

Exploring beneath the surface of Self – the underbelly of the ego – isn’t everybody’s cup of Chi. Not everyone’s ready. I know that. Some have gotten too used to dying to really live. Although it’s hard to watch them struggle, I honor it. God knows I’ve been it. I understand how unsettling the unknown can be, but now I know how unliveable the settling can be.

So I keep stepping to the edge, and I’ll keep diving in, again and again, because living Who I Am is the purest joy I’ve ever known. You can always find me there, I’m sure of it. And I will always, always offer my hand when you’re ready to jump, too. ~kbj

Would you treat your child that way?

If you think about it, a relationship is like a child. A child is born from two people who (ideally) love each other and commit to the care and feeding of a third person. They love and want it with all their heart, and are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best they can be. That’s what a partnership is: a third BETTER thing we love into being, and choose with all our heart. And, like a child, this relationship requires attention and nurturing. We have to feed it and give it affection, protection and guidance. If we neglect it, it withers. Starve it, it dies. When we choose partnership…TRUE partnership…we are agreeing to be responsible for growing and maintaining its health and well being, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, which is a commitment not to be taken lightly. And, it changes us, if we’re lucky…just as a child does.

It strengthens our resolve to do what it takes, especially when we don’t feel like it. We feed it when it's hungry, warm it when it's cold, and hold it when it's hurt or scared. Even when we’re struggling, if we’re committed to the highest good of the “child”, we set aside our differences and pay attention to what it needs. It moves us beyond our separateness and opens us to something greater than ourselves, individually and together. We learn that honoring and caring for ourSelf is vital to our ability to be present and patient, and we find the capacity to honor and support our partner in doing the same. We become a team for the greater good. We build a strong foundation for it grow and mature; we listen and guide, and create healthy boundaries to keep it safe. We consider it in our every-day choices and include it in our big life plans, not because we have to, but because it matters. It matters most. We protect it, respect it, and hold it accountable. We play when we're too busy, we laugh even though we don't get the joke, and sometimes it breaks our heart. But we keep loving it and choosing it, again and again, and it makes us better people...every day.

Yep, true partnerships are like children that way. They give us reason to be better than ourselves…if we let them. ~kbj