Are You Getting What you WANT?

"That which we most want from another is that which we are least willing to give." ~ Marianne Williamson. 

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes! As much as I sometimes resist using it, it will always, ALWAYS take me back to ground zero when I use it. 

Think about it. What is one thing that you wish another person would do, be, or say to you? Now, ask yourself if you are doing, being, or saying that to them? Are you giving that person what you want to receive? Are you giving it to yourself? 

The best way I know to do this is to simply "walk your talk." Regardless of what is happening, if you want love, be loving. If you want peace, be peaceful. If you want respect, be respectful. If validation and acknowledgment are what you seek, ask yourself where you are not validating and acknowledging others...or yourself? Resist the temptation to blame, judge, and make others responsible for your pain. Stop waiting for them do what you are failing to do yourself. You must embark on the excavation of the Truth within, humbly and willingly exploring your own actions and behaviors. Forgive yourself...forgive others! If you want truth, be truthful...and the deepest Truth is love.

Sound challenging? Go ahead. Try it on! Step out there on a skinny limb today and stretch past your comfort. Strive for the Truth and be willing to stand in it. What is one thing you have longed to do, say, or be, but have been afraid to risk? Is there something that you want to share with someone...a feeling, an apology, perhaps gratitude? Is there a boundary that needs to be set? Where in your life are you withholding? Who are you afraid will reject or embarrass you?

Nothing in our lives improves by our not showing up! When you wonder why you aren't getting what you want, stop and consider how you're asking for it, or if you're asking at all. Are you assuming you can't have it? Are you inviting it into your life? Open the door! Allow the Universe to support you. Step out there and speak your truth, walk your talk, live your life the way you want it to be delivered back to you. Perhaps that is all that is required of us; to just show up and let the Truth of our being shine through.

Go ahead, take a risk and watch your life magically unfold!

Today, I will look within myself for that which I have desperately, painfully sought out in others. I will forgive others and myself. I will begin the process of giving that which I want to receive, with gratitude and love. 

What is Your Communication Saying about YOU?

There is nothing in our world, or our relationships, that is not affected by our communication. What we think, feel, need, want, believe, and expect are being communicated constantly, both verbally and non-verbally, consciously and unconsciously. We are communicating continuously with our thoughts and actions, fears and reactions…and getting results accordingly. Even those with healthy communication skills are often baffled by their results with others, when they themselves seem to be communicating “effectively”.

This is because WHAT we communicate is far more inpactful than HOW we communicate…and it’s happening behind the scenes, in every moment. We are, in essence, either responding or reacting to everything in our environment, all the time. We respond or react to people, experiences, circumstances, stress, joy, pleasure, pain, disappointment, satisfaction, loss, gain, and the list goes on and on. We are sometimes tired, sometimes energized. Sometimes hopeful, sometimes discouraged…troubled, peaceful, excited, or frightened. You get the picture. This is real life, and we’re not going to get around our humanness, however, understanding what’s happening on deeper levels will go a long way in improving communication on the conscious level.

Obviously, it takes more than just better communication skills to communicate better, which is where “WHAT we communicate” comes in. When conflicted internally or externally, what remains unhealed within us is what we communicate most loudly, regardless of the words we speak. It is crucial to our well being and our relationships to look honestly at our reactions and begin to connect the dots to our past experiences, so that we can diffuse the energy, allow old wounds to heal and current relationships to thrive.

Most of us are not aware of our triggers, so an easy exercise to begin the process is to track your communication with others for one or two full days…all your interactions with friends, strangers, children, parents, coworkers, partners, and even pets. Observe your reactions to others’ communications and choices, gestures, and even your annoyances and tolerations. Just observe, and when you find yourself reacting, even when it feels justified, check in with what emotion or pain is beneath your reaction. It might show up as disrespect, violation, fear, abandonment, not feeling appreciated or loved, or feeling out of control or unheard. Again, just observe without judgment. Keep a notebook handy so you can later see if there is a common thread of early experience(s) in your life. You may need support or guidance to help with the healing and release of energy around it, but it is well worth the excavation! Once the healing has commenced, you will likely begin to notice a difference in your interactions with others…and so will they…as you become more peaceful, grounded, and present in the here and now.

I’m always interested to hear how the practices work for you, so please feel free to email me with questions or comments, or for support and guidance through the process. Many blessings!

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